Very Much At Peace

Hello everyone, today is a good day for me, I'm feeling really good for a change, I feel myself coming out of this funk I'm in, it's been really hard for me to break free from this depression , It's been nothing but misery and alot of pain, but when I woke up this morning I started to read some poetry off the internet, and I came across this one poem called Keep On Keepin' On, it hit me like a shockwave through my body, it spoke to me, it pretty much said don't ever give up no matter how bad things seem to be in your life, and after I read the poem I felt everything leave my body, I was coughing and shaking and releasing, then all of the sudden I was at peace, I felt very calm, I have not felt this way in about a month, I was alive again, the colors were brighter and I was very happy, I felt like I could breathe a huge weight was lifted of my shoulders, I was actually smiling again for a change, I feel amazing, I feel like my old self again, even my friends and the guys at work noticed it today, they all said I looked really good, and I said yes I feel really good, it's been a while, but I'm back everyone, and it's about time. http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

Searching For An Answer

Hello everyone, today is not a good day for me, I've been really quiet staying in my room alot, I feel like I'm in a big haze, and anyone that knows me I'm not quiet at all, I'm usually happy go lucky joe, always with a smile on my face pretty talkative and full of life, this is a really dark time for me and it's actually really scaring me, almost to a point where it's giving me the shakes, these last few weeks for me have been like living in hell without no way out, all I see in front of me is darkness and desperation, it's really hard going through this it's really painfull, I've never really been through something like this before, I'm always tired and unhappy, I stay in my house on my days off, this depression is something I hope no one ever has to go through, it's a big fight everyday just to get up and get dressed and do anything for that matter, it's a total nightmare, but sometimes life does throw you for a loop with many twists and turns, I just want to be my old self again, no more heartache or pain, I want my heart happy again, I want it to beat the colors of the world and not for it to bleed sorrow again. http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

A Beautiful Day Of Loneliness

Hello everyone, it's a beautiful day outside, I'm at work on a break right now, I wish I could just leave work and go to central park and walk around with my mp3 player lol, but more than anything I would rather be with someone than go for a walk alone, I see all these couples walking around smiling holding hands and looking so happy, I'm happy for them, but I must admit I do get jealous and wish that was me lol, someday I'm sure it will be, I am a hopeless romantic at heart, I know it's like I'm living in ancient times through a Shakespeare play, but that's how I am, I am also a big dreamer always hoping for something great to happen to me like being a famous record producer like George Martin who produced most of The Beatles music or Brian Eno who produces U2's music, or being CEO of Atlantic Records, I would love to work at a record company, am I really living in some sort of a big fantasy world being the way I am, I really don't know, I do question myself alot on being the way I am, but I'm sure everyone does, well everyone I must get back to work, it's pretty busy here today, I hope that for the people that read my blogs they get something positive out of it, or it makes them think about there lives, or it makes them happy, talk to you all soon. http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

Sleepless Night

Hello everyone, what a night I had last night I couldn't sleep If I tried not that I'm a big sleeper I sleep maybe 5 hours a night if I'm lucky, I tossed and turned and nothing, maybe it's because I've got so much on my mind, my job, my crazy father that I take care of annoying me every five seconds, get my pills, get me a drink, where's my dinner, my future and where I stand in this world, I feel like everything is piling up at me all in one shot, I don't know anymore, I just don't know, the only thing that keeps me sane and calm is my music, right now I have my Prince cd collection in front of me and I enjoy every second of his music, he is a true artist in every sense of the word, I'm actually suprised I didn't get an anxiety attack last night, I have not had one in years but I used to get them really severely, the first one I ever got I was in math class in Highschool sophmore year, all of the sudden my heart was pounding and I was sweating I had no idea what was going on, and the last anxiety attack I ever had was back in 2000 and that of course was the worst one, I was just laying down on my bed and all of the sudden my heart was pounding out of my chest, I actually thought I was gonna die, I came out and my mother was like you ok you ok I was pale white as a ghost, but I calmed myself down and that was the end of it, anytime I had an anxiety attack I always put on soft music to relax, and it was always Stevie Nicks, she's my all time favorite female singer, her voice and music always relaxed me, her voice is very unique I love it, her music and Fleetwood Mac's music is amazing, just another part of my life, there will be more to come. http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

What Is My Destiny

Hello everyone, there always come a time in your life that you say to yourself why am I here, is there really a reason why I'm here what is my destiny, am I always going to take care of my father will I always be a pastry chef, sometimes I feel like my life just drags on and on and gets really boring, I just feel I can do bigger and better things but I'm not sure what they are, I recently applied to be a doorman in Manhattan filled out the application and everything, I think that would be a good job for me, and how hard could it be, you get great tips and full benefits, I certainly hope I get called for an interview at least, maybe that's what was meant for me, a doorman who knows, that's another job I've been thinking about doing for years but the competition for it is really fierce and it's pretty hard to get actually, but I'm keeping the faith, I definetly have lost the passion for being a pastry chef, I like it but I don't enjoy is as much anymore, so I definetly want to do something else, but I do love to cook though, hopefully something comes through for me, but jobs are also hard to come buy now, and hopefully if I do get something else I can begin the next chapter of my life.
http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

My Entertaining Morning On The Train

Hello everyone, have you ever had one of those mornings on the train and you see 3 maybe 4 things that makes you want to roll your eyes and want to scream yeah this was one of those mornings for me, I'm sorry I cannot stand public displays of affection unless it's holding hands which is nice, but when your with your girlfriend or wife I don't need to see you stick your tongue down someone's throat at 5 AM and of course everyone was looking and laughing, me I was just rolling my eyes, get a freakin hotel room or go home, then this other fool a guy gets on the train with his headphones and was singing loudly ahhhhhhhhhhh first of all just by looking at him he thought he was one of those guys that thinks he can sing, well he is pretty tone deaf because he was pretty awfull he was screaming pretty much please shoot me now that ;asted like 3 or 4 stops till he got off, then to top it all off a homeless man with huge fish lips get's on the train carrying a vodka bottle and of course he smelled like a mixture of vodka and raw sewage, don't get me wrong my heart goes out to homeless people and I always give money when they ask me, but all of the sudden the homeless guy get's up starts ranting and raving, takes his bottle of vodka and throws it across the train and vodka and glass shatters everywhere, thank God it didn't hit anybody because someone could have been realy hurt, then a few stops later he finally got off, well that was my ranting for the day hope you got a laugh out of it. http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

On The Inside

Hello everyone, what do people really think about you, your family, friends, coworkers what do they see when the look at you, do they think your happy, sad, cruel, smart, do they really tell you the truth, are your eyes really the window to your soul, people tell me when they look into my eyes they can see right through me, is that a good thing or a bad thing I really don't know, of course when I ask what do you see and I really never get a straight answer, are they afraid to tell me because of what my reaction may be, sometimes people lie to you so they don't hurt you, I always like being told the truth regardless of how I react or how it makes me feel, time does have a habit of healing, you can't always be happy in life, I believe you need both happiness and sadness, you need that balance or your life would just be boring honestly, I always tell the truth if someone asks me how I really feel about them, I think it's very cleansing to tell the truth rather than putting on an act. http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

Patience Wearing Thin At The Post Office

Hello Everyone, have you ever been on a really long line at the post office and you have some fool who has 10 boxes doesn't speak any english and didn't fill out the proper forms for the boxes, yeah I had that experience today, this women was ahead of me so she goes up there puts in a few boxes and the guy says to her you need to fill out the green customs forms for all these boxes or they can't be shipped, so he hands her a bunch of the forms and she didn't understand what they said of course, and the women is speaking Russian to him and of course the post office clerk has no clue what she's saying and he's like anyone speak Russian in here and what a shock no one answers, so for a least 5 minutes the women kept on trying to speak to him, and of course that felt like 5 hours, then it got heated the post office clerk was like look I don't understand what your saying to me, finally he got frustrated and said next step up please and she stormed off screaming, and to top it all off they guy in back of me smelled liked yarlsberg cheese come on people please be prepared before you go to the post office and have all your forms and boxes filled out and take a shower geez that is my rant for the day. http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

Floating Through Life

Hello everyone, today Is one of those weird days for me, I feel numb not happy not sad, it's like I'm not feeling anything sort of like I'm floating through life, I've been through this before it's like I don't have a reaction to anything, like if you told me I won a million dollars most people would either faint or scream I would be like ok no big deal I know it's weird, example one day years ago my mothers best friends daughter was at the house and she just got engaged and I've known this girl since I was about 6 years old, and she was all excited my mother was all excited and when she came up to me and said look at my ring joe I was like it's nice, I said nothing else and walked in my bedroom, of course after she left my mom yelled at me like I was a five year old and said that was rude why did you leave, and I said well cause I really don't care, it's not like she was my best friend or anything we never even hung out I just have known her for years, I always thought she was sort of a phony anyhow, and of course everyone thought I was jealous that's not the case at all, I just didn't care.http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

What A Great Day

Hello everyone, I just sold my 200th item on bonanzle in 4 months, I'm very happy about it, I have a big cheesy smile on my face lol, you do have to advertise the site and work at it alot and the hard work does pay off eventually, today is another beautiful day in new york city 62 degress right now and I hear the birds chirping away, it's seems pretty alive outside alot of people enjoying the beautiful weather, I don't blame them, In a little while I'm probably gonna go for a walk with my mp3 player down to the pier near my house probably do some fishing before the weather changes again, it's supposed to get cool again fun fun fun lol, talk to you all soon. http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

My Biggest Fears

Hello Everyone, I have always had two fears one is dying, I guess it's the fear of not knowing what will happen after whether it's going to heaven or hell, maybe I will go no where, who knows, my other fear is being in front of crowds, I remember when In school If the teacher would ask me to go to the front of the classroom to read something I couldn't do it, I was a really shy kid, I didn't like the thought of people laughing at me If I made a mistake or I didn't read something right, and last year at my best friends wedding of course I was the best man, I was petrified to make the speech, yeah in front of 150 something people, I got up there and was thrilled the place was kind of dark so I really couldn't see everyone, so I just made me speech an got through it without stuttering or shaking, and If I ever have to do something like that again, I don't think I will be as nervous, just another part of my life. http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

Looking For Love

Have you ever felt so alone even with people surrounding you everyday, I've been feeling like that alot lately, I don't think I'm depressed, maybe I'm looking for love, but I don't want to be with someone just out of loneliness, I want to be with somebody because It feels right, I must admit more than anything in this world I want to be loved and love someone , get married and have a few kids one day, but I have not met the right women yet, In a way I'm getting a little nervous because I'm not getting any younger as far as the dating scene goes I am already 32 going on 33 in August, I suppose your never too old to date or to find true love, I know I sound like an old school romantic, but that's how I have always been, what am I gonna do, I'm not going to change for anybody because I love the way I am, and hopefully somebody out there will love me for who I am one day.http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

My Crazy Dreams

I had several Interesting dreams last nigh,t the first dream was I was In bed with a women I don't know who she was, I went over to kiss her and she turned into a doll no not a blow up doll like a porcelain doll very weird and just my luck lol, my second dream was I actually seen myself dead yeah freaky huh, I seen my gravestone and it said april no date the year 2054, which would make me 78 years old yeah that's really scary, and my third dream was I was fishing with my uncle which I have done before it was a really hot day must have been 90 degrees and all of the sudden the skies turned really black and a tornado came right out of the sky, and in New York that never happens, so we both ran and it got closer and closer like it was chasing us and then my uncle got swept up in it and I just woke up, yeah it was a very crazy night for me, I do have alot of dreams, do these dreams really mean anything, hope this was entertaining to you, just another part of my life.http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

Is Life What It Seems To Be

Have you ever sat there and thought is life what you really make It, are you really meant to be a fireman, doctor a lawyer, or do certain events in your life prevent you from doing what you really want to do, does God control your destiny or is It really you, maybe I'm really not meant to be a pastry chef, maybe I am meant to be the record producer I've always wanted to be, is It to late now being that I'm 32 years old, do I really want to start over again I don't know, and what about all the homeless people on the streets is that what their lives are supposed to be that's really a rather sad life if that's how your life pans out, and what about all the soldiers that are fighting for us right now, is it really worth possibly sacrificing your life others, don't get me wrong I love my country and totally believe in freedom but I just wonder , what does it mean what does life really mean, I really don't think it's possible to answer. http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

My Secret Obsession

Hello my friends, yes I have a secret obsession which is music, no I don't play any instruments but I am a huge music lover, I collect cd's I have close to 1400 of them by now, you name the band I have it beatles, rolling stones, the doors, metallica, led zeppelin aerosmith, and the list goes on and on, I guess it all stems from my childhood my mom always had records playing in the house such as the bee gees the carpenters, barry manilow and the list goes on, not only that my father was a opera singer, no he wasn't known but he is an opera singer, I had music everywhere in my life and I'm sure that's where my obsession with it comes from. I can literally listen to music for hours a day and never get tired of it, my dream job growing up was to become a record producer but I went in another direction, I have some regrets about it but I love my job now, everything I have ever done In my life has been 500% and everything I love I have to know everything about, whether it's baseball, music, collecting antiques anything, welcome to my world everyone hope your enjoying the ride. http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

Good Morning Everyone

Hello everyone, This fairly new site I belong to called Bonanzle I stumbled upon in mid January, January 18th to be exact, sales were slow for me at first, but ever since then I have sold 186 Items and I could not be happier, the site Is amazing and It's growing and growing each and everyday, I also sell on ebay and that's ok to but fees are to high there, I think soon enough the site Is going to be really huge, the people on Bonanzle are very warm and friendly and always willing to help you out and always rooting you on for more sales, If you have sold anything, my experience at Bonanzle has been wonderfull and I could not be happier to be a part of an amazing growing family. http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona

What A Day

Hello everyone, this is my first blog, well being a pastry chef can be a hectic life it's not as laid back as everyone thinks it is, I stand 7 hours a day sometimes more and being a big guy it can be really hard, I get to work at 6am this morning I hear the mixers going and I say hello to my manager and head chef as usual, well the first thing I make is carrott cake goes great, then I make nut brownies great also, I get to the chocolate cakes I put in the mix and put it in the oven and I take a little rest so I take the cakes out of the oven and I'm saying to myself why are these flat well well well yours truly forgets to put in the baking powder yeah your really smart joe lol, I wasn't to pleased, but my manager and my buddy got a kick out of it, well I'm off to sell some item's wish me luck tomorrow.

P S The Rest Of My Day At The Bakery Went Really Well. http://www.bonanzle.com/booths/CharlesSagona